Just Breathe.............

Thats what I had to keep telling myself yesterday!
But first let me tell you about my trip :)

I'm back from Texas Ya'll! :)  I'm glad to be back home, but missing my family back there, my cousins and my aunt and uncle, like crazy!  It was nice to be around family. Here in California, the only family I have, besides the friends I consider family, are my parents, and my sister, and my nieces and my nephew's.  For the most part I'm ok with it because really it's all I've ever known.... well, since I was 10, that's the way it's always been....... So back in Texas it's my cousins ( two of which i have never met until this trip)  and my aunts and uncles.... and then its all of my Aunts family there.... which is not technically MY family... but its family none the less. So I had a great time...... except for the hips giving me trouble..... the first night I was there.... my cousin had to get up in the morning to go to a class that she couldn't miss.... and I slept in her bed with her.... usually I guess i don't notice it as much because i'm free to toss and turn every couple of hours so that I don't spend to long on one hip, but I was sleeping with my cousin in her bed, and she had to get up early.... I didn't want to toss and turn the whole night and keep her up..... so I stayed on my left side the whole time....... and BOY did I pay for it in the morning when I woke up and for the rest of the trip........ so Note to Self :  Next time you have to sleep on one hip for an extended amount of time.... Pain killers BEFORE you go to bed to numb the pain when you wake up!  My cousin took me to my first Rodeo.......... it was great, I loved it....... every part besides the roping!!  I turned my head and did not watch the poor little guys getting roped and yanked backwards as they are trying to run away... everybody tells me that it doesn't hurt them..... Well I don't care..... it LOOKs like it hurts them, and it makes me want to cry!   Toby Keith was playing that night after the rodeo was over.... we stayed for about an hour of his concert and then took off to avoid the crowds..... At first I was upset that a couple came an sat right in front of us with their big cowboy hats on because I couldn't see anything....... until I realized that it was a great photo opportunity for me ;)

Ok ..... now back to reality....

So I get home from Texas on Sunday and was supposed to go to work on Monday.... didn't happen... I decided to bring a sinus/head cold home with me from the airport....... and nothing is worse than staring at a computer for 10 hours of the day when you have a sinus headache.... I couldn't do it.... So I called in sick... I was going to call my insurance and start dealing with all that crap again....but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.... I was not feeling good, I was tired, and I just wasn't in the mood...... I pretty much slept all day.... SO Tuesday morning.... the fun begins!!  I get to work at 6:30am, but I had to wait until 8am to start making any phone calls..... I was NOT in the mood to really deal with it, I still wasn't feeling good but I knew I had to..... I spent a whole flippin hour on the phone (luckily my boss was an hour late, and everybody else was in a meeting all morning) For that whole hour I was passed on from person to person, department to department with NO BODY knowing anything that could help me. Before I left for Texas I was talking to my Medical group and they had said that they were sending an email to the UM Department of my Insurance to get them to issue me a Denial number so that I can appeal it...... well they sent them an email on Feb 11th... and then again on the 19th... and then again on the 22nd, which was the day I was calling with no answer from them..... So I called the UM Department myself trying to figure out what was going on, and they tell me that they have no record of any emails or any request for authorization or denial or anything..... .and then decide to pass me on to the Appeals department.... I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO THEM!! They already made me wait a whole freakin 30 days without telling me that i needed a denial number to begin with!!! WHAT part of that are they not understanding??!   So i hang up and call my Medical group back and get the name of the person they are supposidly emailing over at the UM Department ( Angie) ...... so I call back the UM Department and ask for Angie and this girl doesn't know who I'm talking about...... " ummm... there is no angie here... "..... UGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Just breathe Krystal.... just breathe!!   So anyway, this lady was nice enough to ask me if I just wanted her to send in a request for me to see an Out of Network doctor.......... WHAT?  really??  Thats all I had to do?? I'm SOOO flipping confused!   She said it will take 3-5 business days to get an answer and if they deny me, then i can use that to appeal.......  This is all so ridiculous, really...... I had a freakin break down yesterday.... I hung up the phone and cried...... I'm so frustrated, and not feeling good, and I was at work trying to deal with this all..... it was NOT a good day! 

So thats where I'm at..... HOPING to hear something by Friday or maybe Monday of next week.  I'm stressing out wondering what I'm going to do if they don't approve me...... there is NO way that I can pay for it without insurance.... there is no way I can even pay for it if they make me pay Out-of Network fees...... on top of all the stuff I have to buy for recovery, my walker, my cane, my crutches, my shower seat, my toilet riser thingy.... and much more.... this is all stupid, just stupid and I hate dealing with it....But at the same time I hate dealing with the pain that I am in......... which makes having the surgery and dealing with all this crap worth it............. in the long run.... its just the short run that's killing me!!  I know i'll get there..... i'm just having a hard time holding on right now and keeping it together. ........... Which brings me to why im looking forward to this weekend......... a new friend of mine........ a fellow Hippie....... lives in Temecula... and she makes beautiful earrings and hair pieces and sells them on ETSY ...... So her and I are getting together this weekend and doing a little photoshoot with some models to showcase her product :)   I will post pictures later of course. :)

So that' it.... thats all I have for ya....... thanks for listening!!