I am Moving...........

I am moving to a new blog :)   I transferred all my posts over to a new and improved blog set up...... and i've already uploaded a new post!  come see it and say hi!! Love you guys!!!

It's a Hip Chick's World

I'm alive

Hey everybody!  Ok..... so I know its been awhile since my last post, and I was planning on blogging right after my CT and Bilat Arthrograms last Wednesday...... obviously that didn't happen, So i'll do that now.

On Tuesday night I decided to take one of the pills they gave me to calm me down a little since I was already freaking out and I didn't think I was going to get that much sleep. When I went to look at the pills, I realized that they were not Valium..... they were something generic for Xanax, and they were only 0.5mg per pill. Now I realize i'm not a doctor, or a nurse, and I know nothing about medicine and the correct dosages... but to me 0.5 just seemed small..... but whatever, I went with it,  I took one before bed on Tuesday night to see how I would react with it...... It did nothing for me whatsoever....... but I managed to get to sleep that night pretty easily or easier than I had expected..... so maybe the pill did help after all..... I don't know.   So Wednesday morning...... woke up.... and i'm freaking out already..... i tried to sleep as much as I could to pass the time..... I ended up getting out of bed around 10ish...... I played around on the computer a little.... and I couldn't keep myself calm, so I decided to take a hot bath and try and relax..... whenever i'm not feeling good I always run to the bath, i'm not sure why..... its just become a comfort thing for me....... I had three of the generic xanax pills left, so I decided that I would take one an hour before we left and if it wasn't helping me any while I was there, I would take the other two while I was there..... so thats what happened. We got there and I had to check in with the people who did my CT...... I checked in, did my paperwork, and then got called back pretty quickly....... the CT itself only took like 5 minutes.. not a big deal...... so then they walked me over to check in with MRI...... i filled out my paperwork, and then back I went to the CT people because thats where they do the injections for the Arthrograms ( they are in the same building, like two doors down) ......... we were early, but they took us back and the Radiology Tech who was going to be assisting the Doctor during the injections came and talked to us, explained what was going to happen and everything...... he told us that I could pick one of my parents to go in with me..... seeing as how I was going to be *ahem*  semi-exposed...... I choose my mom, haha. :)   ......... so the tech takes us into a room to explain everything to us, ask me questions and such..... which is when i proceded to tell him that i was "freaking out" ....... a tiny bit embarrasing because he was pretty cute, but he was really cool about it, tried to calm me down and told me i was going to be fine........ i think the xanax started kickin in by then, because i believed him... haha....  well we were running early, so he told me i could wait for about 15-20 mintues before I had to change into my gown if I wanted to....... so I waited for awhile and then just decided to change ....... i changed and came out and sat for about another 10 minutes........ and when he came to get me and my mom, he saw my arm........ my fully tattooed arm....... and I just KNEW what he was going to say......... " oh come on!  If you have that done to your arm, you're going to be FINE in here" ....... haha.... i know, I know!!!   I told him it wasn't the same thing!  Cause it's not! ...... and he also reminded me that
 " yeah, but we're going to numb you...... i KNOW they didn't numb you for that!" ........ :)  true, true....... he wins........ but only cause he was cute ;)
So the procedure....... seriously...... a piece of cake!!  yes, I know...... i freaked out for NOTHING.... I'm not sure if it was the xanax making me feel extremely calm that helped me not feel anything, or if it just really didn't hurt that bad........ It was nice that I had a few distractions during the whole thing, with the tech (Bryant) and the Doctor ( Dr. Puckett)  talking to me about my tattoos and asking me questions the whole time.  I seriously didn't feel a thing..... not really even the prick of the numbing needle....... it was awesome..... I watched it on the monitor which was pretty cool..... and then it was all over...... and done all over again on the left side.......  after I was all done , i was walked over back to the MRI place and taken in for my MRI....  I didn't realize at the time how much the medicine was effecting me because I didn't feel weird or anything..... but the minute I got into the MRI machine.... I don't remember much..... I must have fallen asleep... for almost an hour..... but I do remember waking up in like the last 10 minutes in so much pain..... my left hip/leg was hurting so badly from being in the position that they taped my feet together in for that long..... and the last 10 minutes was horrible knowing that I couldn't move!!!    My mom and dad and I went out to Chilli's for lunch/dinner aftewards.... and when I got home, i went upstairs and told them I was just gonna lay down for an hour or two........ nope...... i was OUT....... all night and all morning the next day.....  When I woke up my left hip felt fine, but had a bruise from where the injection went in...... and my right hip hurt, but had no bruise....... go figure......  for that whole day I couldn't really put pressure on my right leg without having the feeling that it was going to completly give out on me..... so I babied that hip for the next day or two, and then it was back to the "normal" pain that I have in both hips.
I called Dr. Santore's office the next day to make sure I told his assistant henry that I had the tests done and that they should be expecting them...... I also told him that Dr. Santore told me that i could just talk to him over the phone because of all the problems i have with my insurance trying to get approval to see him......  Henry said " ...... oh, i don't know about that..... he didn't say anything to me about that... but i'll let him know about your tests, and tell him that you want him to call you " .......... so i decided to call the referring OS back and tell them that I need to put in for ANOTHER approval to see Dr. Santore.......  IF she would have done it right the first time I wouldn't have to put in for another approval..... *Most* nurses put in for an initial consultation AND a follow up........ and my nurse only put in for the consultation..... so now I have to go through the stupid process of trying to get another approval to see him to go over my test results and talk about surgery........ which I am hoping is not a problem because Dr. Santore is not the one who officially ordered the tests since he was not on my insurance..... Dr. Ezzet ordered the tests FOR Dr. Santore..... so I hope I don't run into any problems reguarding that................  I did my usual calling today when i got back to work...... called my medical group to make sure the request was put in, and then called Dr. Santore's office to make sure that they received my tests results from downstairs..... and Henry said that they did recieve them and they are on Dr. Santore's desk along with a note that I want him to call me........ So .... thats where I'm at :)

I was hesitating on posting this blog because I am switching my blog over to another place..... a blog that I paid for, and that I have more control over what I want to put on it and one that i can customize more..... I was hoping to have that up this weekend and be able to have it all set up, but that hasn't happened yet..... sooooooo...... I thought i would just post an update on here anyway.... I am going to try and get my new blog up this week, but I have a Senior Graduation Invite to make, and I have a Senior photoshoot this weekend, and a few other things going on, so i'll let everybody know when i've made the switch to my new blog...... but for now..... keep checking here :)

Success!!!

Apparently I DID make enough of a ruckus yesterday with my medical group and insurance company....... as I said in my last post..... that I was going to try and sit patiently.... well TRY was the key word..... and it didn't work... after my last post, I was still fired up, so I called my medical group back and had them send another, yes another, email (they had already sent one earlier in the day) to my Insurance company, telling them that it should have already been done and that it needs to be expedited........ after that call, it was already around 5pm, which is when all the medical offices shut down, so I was done for the day....... so that brings me to this morning.... again... i tried to wait patiently for them to call me....... but i only made it until 10am and then i started calling people....... well its a good thing I did because turns out they did get a response, just never bothered to call me...... apparently the Arthrogram didn't need approval....... and they approved the CT..... So GREAT! Perfect...... ok, so now all I need to do is call my doctors office and have them fax a copy of the order for the tests and the approval to the Imaging place before I can schedule...... So i call and leave a message with my doctors office requesting that they do so....... and i call the imaging place letting them know that my doctors office should be sending them over the information........ the girl tells me ok, and that she will call me to schedule when they get the information........ so a couple hours go by and nothing........ now i was trying REALLY hard to not be annoying by calling all the time, but it was really hard!!  My boss called in sick today, so I was in the office ALL alone, with nothing to do and nobody to talk to........ sooooo I couldn't help myself. :)   So i call the *nice* lady's back at the imaging place to check and see if they had gotten the paperwork they needed from my doctors office...... she checks.... and, oh yeah... they did.... but the only thing sent over was the test request and not the authorization........ so she has to call my doctors back and ask for the authorization........ UGHH!  GOOD thing i called because otherwise it would still be sitting there..... so I sit for another 2 hours *patiently* waiting to hear back...... nothing..... so i decide to call again......... and oh gee, what do you know....... they have the authorization, but just never called me back.......

Ok.... now I realize that I might sound like a Biotch, or maybe a little impatient to some people who might be reading this......... but seriously.... I'm not TRYING to be annoying to the nice health care workers........ I understand that its not all about ME........ and i'm not the only person they are dealing with, and the only case they have to take care of....... but that's just it...... I am just a CASE NUMBER to them....... the majority of them could really care less that by just faxing a simple letter or pushing an "authorize" button that it could save me hours and days, even weeks of pain...... If i wouldn't have gotten the authorization this week, then it would be until next week, and then if they Imaging place was booked then i wouldn't be able to get an appointment until the NEXT week..... I know it doesn't seem that long....... and really ... it's not..... for somebody who is NOT in pain every single day....... for people who suffer with chronic pain time is EVERYTHING when it comes to working on a plan to get you pain free.

So...... anyway..... after many, many phone calls today, I FINALLY have my appointments set!!  yay!!!!  I have my CT at 1:15 and then I have to check in for my Bilateral Arthrograms at 2:15 ......... Wait... Bilateral???  YES!!  BILATERAL!!!   (Insert me freaking out RIGHT HERE!) ...... As i was on the phone making the appointment, the girl was reading, more to herself, but out loud the order for the tests as she was putting them into the computer.... she says "  Ok.. we have a CT... and Bilateral Arthrograms...." .......... i said "uh huh ....... Wait.... WHAT?  Did you just say Bilateral??'  and she said " Yup" ........ I said " Ummm no... I thought it was only supposed to be for my right hip" ........ shes quite for a second... and then says " Ummm.. nope... the order right here (as i hear her shaking the paper as if i can see it)   says Bilateral" .......... i respond with..... " Oh...... Ok...... " ......... as my blood pressure spikes to an all time high i'm sure........ Bilateral?? really??  You're really gonna stick that long @ss needle in BOTH of my hips??   I don't understand why this is such a problem with me.......... I am not afraid of needles by any means...... shots, IV's, getting blood taken, tattoos....... all no problem...... but for SOME reason... just the thought of this is making my skin crawl.... I am seriously freaking out.......  and I know some of my hip chicks say it's no big deal...... but then i've heard some horror stories as well....... and i'm sure that a lot of it has to do with the technician doing the insert and everything....... but I think maybe its just the thought of them sticking a long, thick needle into an area that is already inflammed and sore....... its like my tattoo artist going over a spot that he has already done when its all swollen and inflammed......... I guess thats the feeling I imagine, and I am NOT a fan!!!   Definitely asking my doctor for some Valium!! :)    One good thing is that my fellow Hip Chick Alycia is most likely going to be taking me, so that will make me feel SO much better!!  Being there with somebody who has already been through it and knows how i'm feeling.......... If she's not able to, my ex Wes offered to take me...... and he's always been able to comfort me and make me feel safe, so either way, I win.  ;)

Stirring up a ruckus!!

So I am currently waiting for the approval to have the MRI Arthrogram and the CT that Dr. Santore wanted me to get. I had to have the doctor who referred me to Santore, Dr. Ezzet, order them because he is on my insurance plan, so it really shouldn't be a problem for them to approve those tests because i've already seen him and it could be a part of his work up as well........  easy right?  Apparently NOT!  gosh, I swear,  being your own advocate in the healthcare world should be its own freakin full time job!!  I am SO sick of being referred to and transfered to everywhere but where somebody can help me!  I called the place where I want to get the tests done just to see their booking time and how far out they book, and its only about a week out...... which isn't to bad really...... but it just seems like FOREVER when you are in pain, and when this is part of whats holding back the doctor from finding a path to fix me!!  I can't make my appointments until I get the approval...... so the longer it takes for them to approve it, of course the longer its gonna take to get the MRA appointment......... I wish i could just sit back and let them do their jobs...... BUT THEY DON'T!!  I've learned from the first time I tried to sit back and let them do their jobs that it doesnt work.... it put me back a whole month on even getting to see Dr. Santore...... so now I feel like I have to be on their butts making sure everything is going where its supposed to be going and everybody is talking to who they should be talking to....... but its kinda hard to do that when i'm not even sure whats really supposed to be going on...... all i know is that my medical group and my insurance company doesnt seem to have very good communication between them so things get dropped into a black hole until i call and make a fuss...... and then I feel bad for making a fuss and for being annoying, but GEEZ!!!  do your job and I won't have to do it for you!!!!!!

Also... would this stabbing sharp pain hitting my lower back and hip joints please goooo awayyyy!!!  I don't have the time or the patience for you!!


Ok..... my rant's over....... i'll try and sit here patiently........ but i can't promise how long that will last..... hopefully i've created enough of a ruckus between my medical group and my insurance company to get an answer by tomorrow.

Embarking on another journey

So now that I have had a few days to sulk and feel sorry for myself, I'm done.  I am still really discouraged, and sad, and frustrated, but that isn't going to get me anywhere. Before I get into the rest of this post I just have to say THANK YOU for all of the people who responded to my last post. You guys are amazing, and I am incrediably lucky to have all of you in my life. Having this condition, and the issues that I have is not life threatening, I get it........ but it is extremely painful, frustrating, depressing, and very hard to deal with alone, and in a way, a part of you does die........ the longer you deal with chronic pain, the harder it is to keep that smile on your face, and the positivity in your heart. But i'm not done fighting it, and I have an awesome support team and I hope you guys know how much you mean to me!!!  xoxoxoxoxoxo

So I forgot to mention in my last post, that Dr. Santore wants me to lose at least 30 pounds. I am at least 30 pounds over weight, I know this...... and I know that it is NOT helping my hips. But the reason why he wants me to lose the weight is because he said that when we end up doing surgery, the more fat he has to cut through the harder it is for him to see inside and get placement right and such........ which I totally understand.  Losing the weight is not going to fix my issues..... they are structural issues, and I was still in pain when i was 30 pounds lighter, but I know that it will help to ease a little bit of the pressure and if it helps with the outcome of whatever surgical path Dr. Santore decides to go down then I need to do it.  He told me to do Weight Watchers, or stick to a strict 1200 calorie diet.   He said " if you want a glass of wine.... have a glass of wine, but count the calories........ if you want a hamburger, have a hamburger, but count the calories... and DON'T CHEAT!"  haha, he knows me better than he thinks!!   ughhhh!!  I am SOOOO bad at cheating!!   But I can do this!!!    My mom asked him if I can lose that much weight just by doing that without excercise and he said " oh of course.... how many pictures have you seen of fat people in a concentration camp??  None!  They don't get any exercise, they are stuck in a cage.....  if you don't have the calories coming in, you can't keep the weight on" ............ haha, so that's an idea of Dr. Santore's humor ;)
Well, i really wouldn't say humor, because he was being serious, haha! :)  But yes....... he's right..... I have not seen any pictures of "fat" people in concentration camps.    So thats what I am focusing on right now to TRY and take the focus off of the waiting of approval for the next set of testing that I need to figure out what path to go down.  Anybody who knows me, knows that i LOVE to eat..... and i don't just love to eat...... apparently I only love to eat the stuff that is SO bad for me!  I've done a good job of getting away from all of the soda I used to drink..... but I just love fast food and junk food, and I am SO not good at eating my Veggies :(     A fellow hipster has told me about this calorie counting website....... it's called http://www.fatsecret.com/ ..........  you can track your weight, your food, your calories, your fat, your carbs .... even your weight watchers points if thats the "diet" you're doing........ and you can have buddies on there, and you have a journal if you want to write ...... it's just a way of keeping track of your eating habits, and having other friends who are doing the same to keep each other on track and to cheer each other on....... i've already gotten one of my friends to join and be my buddy....... so if you're a fellow hippie trying to lose weight and get ready for surgery, or are trying to lose the weight you've gained after your surgery, or even if you're not a fellow hippie, and you're just trying to lose weight....... join me on that site!!  You can search for me under the email krystalclausen@cox.net......... i don't think i used my real name.... but you'll be able to recognize my picture that I used since its the same one on this blog.......  I would love to help motivate you on your weight loss journey, and I would love to have some more support.

So there we have it........ Im embarking on a weight loss journey to help aid in and to take my mind off of my hip journey...... join me! :)

Not what I wanted to hear............

Well........ today did not turn out like I had hoped.  My hope was that I was going to be able to go into Dr. Santore's office...... he would look at my X-rays and say " Yep.... I can fix you with a PAO...... lets do this!"....... haha..... thats not exactly what came out of his mouth.  Turns out I have more problems than I knew I had...... I not only have dysplasia, I also have Femoral Acetabular Impingement (FAI) of both the Cam and the Pincer on both hips, and he is also pretty sure that I have some labral tears.  He basically said that he doesn't know how to fix me.........  He said that its not a clear cut case, with a clear cut solution..... usually when somebody has limited range of motion in the front or the back, they are pretty open in the other area, so that he's able to do a PAO and he has room to move the pelvic around into a better position to get the desired range of motion......... well that's not my case..... I am both too tight in the front and the back...... so he has no room to play around with and move my pelvis anywhere..... if he moved it back to open the front, that would make it to where i can't move my leg backwards at all, and vise versa in the front.  He also said that I am abnormally flat footed, especially in my left foot...... so that is also causing some issues as well.  He doesn't want to do one surgery that is just going to cause or worsen other problems, so he's kinda baffled at this time. While doing his range of motion tests, my hip popped a few times on the left, and he had his assistant mark it down as a "one" ...... and then he moved to my right hip... it popped so loud that he jumped back! haha! he said " Woah! Write that down as a Three! You can hear that all the way from across the room!" ....... and then he was doing a certain range of motion with my right and it popped... he did it again.. it popped... he did it again and it popped... then he says " Yep... did it three times... popped three times"  haha!!  He was making sure that it wasn't just a fluke the first time apparently... I think you had to be there to see how funny of a little bald guy he is! :)    He wants me to get a CT and an MRA done so that he can get a better picture of my bone structure and so that he can confirm the labral tears.  All of this is NOT what I wanted to hear :(    One good thing that I got out of this appointment was some validation....... halfway through the exam after hearing he's not sure how to fix me I started crying... I felt so stupid, I didn't want to cry.......... but I just couldn't help it.  I am just SO TIRED of being in pain everyday and all I want to do is be able to go to the mall with my mom and sister, I want to be able to do some photography trips with my dad,  I want to be able to hold my baby nephew without feeling like my hips are going to give out on me, I want to be able to walk, and run, and hike like I used to without pain...... i just want to LIVE MY LIFE again......... so as I was wiping tears from my eyes Dr. Santore said "  You have a real problem here, these are real issues.... they aren't just in your head" ........... THAT is what I have been waiting to hear for YEARS........ I knew that it was not just in my head.... that my pain is real...... but after years and years of getting told that it's in your head and nobody really understanding how much pain you're in, it really does start getting to your head and start to make you feel so lost and so alone.

So that's where I am right now in this very long, painful, and tiring journey..... I will follow up with Dr. Ezzet, who is the one who referred me to Dr. Santore, as Dr. Santore said he was going to email Dr. Ezzet and have him request the CT and the MRA because he is in my medical plan so I SHOULDN'T have a problem with them approving the tests.

That's it for tonight.......... im emotionally drained, sore from being bent and moved and adjusted and tortured for 30 minutes.... and honestly just kinda out of words.  I really wanted to be able to come and write and tell you guys that everything went GREAT! .......... but it didn't........ I at least have more information than I went in with because I didn't know about the FAI........ I had suspected and was not surprised about the labral tears..... but the FAI threw me...... so I think im just still trying to take everything in and I need time to re-adjust my mindset on still having to go through more testing and appointments.   Thank you guys for all of your support!!!   I couldn't go through this without the love and support of my friends and family... and especially my Hip Chicks!!  I love you guys! xoxoxo

Tomorrow's the day.......

Tomorrow is the day i've been waiting and fighting for, for the last 3 months!!!  I will finally get to meet Dr. Santore and talk to him about my PAO's.  I am finishing my pre-appointment paperwork, and putting the finishing touches on my questions.  My mother and father are coming with me to my appointment, so that is good, I will have two extra minds to come up with questions that I forget, and two extra sets of ears to hear and remember the answers to my questions, as I know that I will probably forget some of them.  I do have alot of questions, but I also have been able to have alot of my questions answered from my Hip Sisters. I feel SOOO lucky to have met so many AMAZING people throughout this crazy process. I have been lucky enough to meet an awesome person, Alycia, who lives close to me and who has had both of her hips done by Santore, so alot of my questions regarding how Santore works or does things have been answered because I know that each surgeon does things a little differently.  Alycia has become somebody that I consider a great friend , somebody that I can talk to who understands and is able to soothe and calm me at times that i'm freaking out. I am also happy that Alycia is a creative soul like myself...... and that we are able to work together on creative ventures.  I was able to hang out with Alycia yesterday and we talked for awhile about Dr. Santore and her surgeries and how my consultation is going to go.  She has a way of easing my mind and I am so thankful for having her in my life! :)     I am so greatful for having ALL of my hip sisters in my life! I love you guys!! xoxoxo

I'll write more tomorrow and let you know how my consultation goes with Santore.  Wish me luck!! :)